Puppy tongue get bitten by tortoise
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
I’m sick of magical worlds with no technology. I want fairy run coffee shops where you can get a latte with a shot of charisma, because you’ve got a big presentation you’re worried about, or witches working at Apple selling phones that automatically appear in your pocket if you accidentally leave it somewhere, or psychics running hair salons who always know how you want your hair to look, or aura reader therapists. I just really want normalized magic in modern society
I love how people have turned the idea of not being a racist, ableist, sexist, transphobic, queerphobic fucknut into the phrase “political correctness”.
Because it’s much easier to say “I don’t like all this PC stuff” than it is to say “I actually like my position at the top of the hierarchy and though I know that I’m only here because many people suffer every day, I don’t plan on changing it, because this is waaaay too comfortable.”
yesterday no one was answering a question correctly in class and my teacher became so incredibly depressed at our lack of potential that he just
right out the window